Sometimes, even when we call ourselves Christian, even when
we are doing the “right” things, even when we have faith that can move
mountains, the deepest desires of our heart go unfulfilled.
That is the land in which I am living: the land of
unfulfilled dreams.
The specifics of my situation are not important. I do not
want the nature of my dreams to cloud the glorious message that God has been
teaching me. We all have unfulfilled dreams or know someone who does and I am
sharing this with the intention of passing along the lessons that God is
teaching me, sharing the specifics of my situation will only serve to alienate
those who have different struggles.
Recently, I was trying to hide my tears over this unrealized
dream by hiding in the church library. Much to my dismay, I was caught. The
person who caught me is someone that I trust and admire so it didn’t take long
for me to begin spilling the details.
She listened patiently, and then said something disturbing,
“If God wants you to have/be _______, you will have/be_____.” With that, the
conversation ended, and I was left in shock.
At first listen, this is accurate enough. God is
all-powerful, so, of course, if He wants it to happen, He has the power to make
it happen. But this well-intentioned sentence, meant to instill peace, is a
thinly-veiled monster.
First, this statement may lead some to picture God as an
evil, wish-granting genie, drumming his fingers on his desk and cackling as he
withholds answers as a form of torture. This could not be further from my
understanding of the truth of the nature of God. "Which of you, if your son asks for
bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much
more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!”
Matthew 7:9-11. The Bible clearly tells us that God desires to give us
good things. The truth is, if God is not granting our wishes, it is because He
wants to tell a greater story through our lives.
My other issue with this statement is that it belittles my
level of emotional distress. It is as if this person believes that knowing God
has the power to grant the desires of my heart means that my heart should not
hurt during this time of waiting. That is so far from the truth! The realities
of this world are painful! Sin has broken God’s perfect creation and even Jesus
felt the pain.
Recently I was listening to a Christian station on the radio
and heard a commentary that spoke to the heart of my pain. When Jesus walked
the Earth, He had a friend named Lazarus. Lazarus became ill and his sisters
sent for Jesus to come to his bedside. Jesus waited for two days and by the
time he arrived, Lazarus had died. Now, Jesus, being all-powerful God, knew
that He had the power to raise Lazarus from the dead. Being all-knowing God, Jesus knew that He was
about to raise Lazarus from the dead. And yet, He took the time to cry. If
Jesus cried over the brokenness of this world, then it is certainly ok for me
to cry.
If you find yourself in a situation in which someone is
struggling with unrealized dreams, and you have the best of intentions, try to
not utter these words. Most times, the best gift in these situations is simply
your presence in the midst of the pain.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of these words,
try to extend grace. Look past the words to the intention of the person. Know
that they want what is best for you and are trying to lessen your pain and
point your heart toward God. And then, turn your heart over to God and rest in
His love while you wait.
